Acting Is Different than Feeling

Chapter 7 #1
Dear Diary,
      I was extremely stressed today.  For a church activity, I had to present one thing about the activity and talk for one minute.  I have stage fright and I talk quickly when I am nervous.  I was so frightened of speaking, that I acted like I did not care.  I cared way too much, but I did not really want people to know how stressed out I was.  Other girls had to do the same thing, except on a different topic.  They were all really good speakers, and are usually not as nervous as I am.  When they all acted calm, I felt like I should too.  Although, instead of being calm, I seemed to think that the idea was not very smart. 
      Inside, I was freaking out, but on the outside, I stayed calm and listened to the other speakers.  I felt like all the other girls would do better than me, but I just looked like I wanted to get it over with.  I did not want to speak, but it seemed like I thought my topic was not important.  I thought a lot about it, but it seemed like I spent five seconds thinking about it.  My mind was going crazy, but I looked alright.  I did not turn bright red or even pale.  I looked much better than I felt.  I tried to disguise my nervousness, but people could still understand how stressed I was.
       Others talked slowly and were understandable.  I talked quickly and did not say much.  It seemed like I thought my topic was useless.  I cared a lot about it, but my feelings on it did not really show.  I was horrified, but it just looked like I was unprepared.  My thoughts did not really come out very much at that activity.